Tag Archives: worst films

Worst Films of 2015

Now that I’ve gotten by Best Films of 2015 out of the way, here are the worst.

Special Mention

Southpaw – I kind of wish I gave it a lower rating than 2 stars because it deserves a place on my list. Okay, so it’s not one of the top 10 worst films of 2015, but it certainly is my most disappointing film of that year for all the lazy boxing cliches and complete lack of real-world authenticity. Read the full review by clicking on the title because I don’t want to go through all my grievances again.

Dishonorable Mentions

Aloha, The Boy Next Door, Fifty Shades of Grey, The Lazarus Effect, Unnatural, The Vatican Tapes, Deep Dark, Blunt Force Trauma

Some of the usual suspects here, but also a lot of low budget horror movies.

The List

10. Point Break

Huge budget. Huge stinker. This film deserves a spot on my list for destroying the memory of one of my favourite films growing up. They really should have changed the name of the film and the characters and marketed it as a different movie. Wouldn’t have made it less shit, but it would have made it less offensive.

9. Extraction

Bruce Willis is heading toward Nicolas Cage territory. This vanilla action-thriller offers virtually nothing new, interesting or exciting.

8. The Transporter Refueled

Was never a big fan of the Transporter franchise, even when Jason Statham was headlining it. Exchange him with significantly less charismatic Ed Skrein (he was OK in Deadpool as the villain), make the production shittier by 40%-50%, and this is the film you end up with.

7. Poltergeist

I recall the original 1982 Poltergeist was scary. I will recall the 2015 remake as laughably bad. Zero tension, zero atmosphere, zero scares. It’s a complete and utter mess.

6. Area 51

I was a little excited by this movie because I used to be obsessively fascinated by Area 51, the place where the government stashes all the secret alien stuff if conspiracy theorists are to be believed. But they really dropped the ball on this one. Part of it is the low budget (looks and feels cheap), part of it is the awful found-footage trope, and part of it is that it’s just plain bad. I almost feel bad for putting this film on the list because it’s so amateurish.

5. Hot Pursuit

In any other year, this might be the worst comedy of the year (see below). I like the actresses (Reese Witherspoon, Sofia Vergara), but this was just so lame and cringeworthy that I couldn’t help but feel extremely disappointed — for them and for myself.

4. Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

This entry should come as no surprise to anyone who has followed my Worst Of lists, as Paranormal Activity is always bound to make an appearance. The scariest part of this film is that it could actually be the worst of the entire franchise. Shudder.

3. Mortdecai

I didn’t believe in the rumours so I checked it out for myself. Huge mistake. This was one of the few times in my life that I’ve actually felt embarrassed for the actors in a movie. It really is that criminally unfunny.

2. The Gallows

The premise of a death haunting a school play seemed like a decent idea, and yet somehow the filmmakers made the worst of it. The result was a shoddy, nonsensical production and an unwatchable horror flick without any scares.

1. Lost After Dark

If there is one thing this year’s Worst Of list has taught me, it is that I need to stay away from low-budget horror movies. This sorry excuse of a slasher movie that tried to pay “homage” to the crap slashers of the 80s was the worst of them all. This film was so bad that it went beyond “so bad it’s good”.

And there you have it.

10 Worst Films of 2011

It’s a Christmas Day miracle!

Yeah, you better believe it. I have finally finished watching and reviewing all the 2011 movies (ie, movies with a 2011 release date according to IMDB) on my list and I’m ready to deliver my worst and best lists of the (last) year. Sure it’s a little late, but better late than never, right? Take that, 2011!

Anyway, it was very interesting going through all 110 movies on the list and seeing whether I still felt the same about the movies so long after I initially rated them (well, for the older ones at least). There were indeed some differences. For example, I could have sworn I gave Transformers 3 a rating much worse than the 2.5 stars it received, and from memory I thought Something Borrowed should have been worse than 2 stars. On the other hand, having seen The Adjustment again more recently I think perhaps it deserved more than a 3.5. But to keep it to first impressions I decided not to change anything.

To make it easier for myself, I highlighted all the movies with ratings more than 4.25 and less than 2. And guess what? I ended up with exactly 10 films for each! Another Christmas Day miracle!

OK, so here goes. First up, counting down my 10 worst films of 2011! Click on the title to read the full review for each film.

10. Never Back Down 2: The Beatdown (2011)

IMG_8497.CR2
You don’t wanna mess with us, punk

You know, the sequel to MMA flick Never Back Down is not actually that bad when placed in context, which is a straight-to-DVD film with low expectations. The fight scenes are OK, but its recycled plot, laughable subplots and cringeworthy dialogue were enough to propel it into my top 10 worst of the year. Just.

9. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (2011)

1223-Film-Review-Extremely-Loud-Incredibly-Close_full_600
Tom Hanks piggy backs annoying kid

This was supposed to be a triumphant tear jerker about post-9/11 American, but instead it came across as exploitative and pretentious, and probably the worst Best Picture Oscar nominee ever. The kid (Thomas Horn) deserves some kind of award for portraying the most irritating child character in recent years.

8. Your Highness (2011)

Natalie Portman's best performance ever
Natalie Portman’s best performance ever

I really wanted to like this fantasy comedy farce but it turned out to be one of the year’s biggest disappointments. Perfect example of where there was not enough script and too much improv for a bunch of stoned actors/comedians who needed to be reined in and saved from themselves.

7. Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

OMG, we're in a movie that's exactly the same as the last two!
OMG, we’re in a movie that’s exactly the same as the last two!

As long as they keep making them I’m pretty sure Paranormal Activity movies will keep landing on my worst movies list every year. This one was actually one of the better ones, which really says it all about this gimmicky franchise that has as much trouble filling up the screen time as it does producing genuine scares.

6. The Art of Getting By (2011)

Let's see who can stare at the other person longer
Let’s see who can stare at the other person longer

Probably the most pointless film of the year in which a kid tries to get by with minimal effort, meets a girl, falls for her, kind of, not really, no one cares. Whatever the message was, it didn’t come out.

5. Jack and Jill (2011)

Two Adam Sandlers laugh at an Adam Sandler movie while everyone else pouts
Two Adam Sandlers laugh at an Adam Sandler movie while everyone else pouts

Adam Sandler movies used to make me so happy, but now they just make me sad — and angry. Jack and Jill is yet another example of how far he has fallen. Not only is it terribly unfunny and mean spirited, the film takes a dump all over screen legend Al Pacino by allowing him to be involved.

4. Gnomeo and Juliet (2011)

Watching real garden gnomes would have been more exciting
Watching real garden gnomes would have been more exciting

Possibly the worst animated film of the last two decades. The last cartoon I fell asleep in was Cars, and that was because I was really tired. This one had no excuse. The dearth of laughs was terrifying and there was no originality apart from the fact that they are garden gnomes. And as nearly always, the 3D was a waste of everyone’s time.

3. The Darkest Hour (2011)

Why am I screaming?!
Why am I screaming?!

The idea was good on paper and the trailers looked promising, but invisible alien enemies turned out to be oh-so-lame…until you saw the aliens and realized that was even lamer. Despite all the running and supposed danger, for whatever reason, The Darkest Hour just had no pulse. With no characters to root for and almost zero excitement, it was indeed the darkest hour — well, 89 minutes, to be exact.

2. ATM (2011)

I think people are watching us watching them watching us
Hang on, I think people are watching us watching them watching us

Ordinarily, a film released straight to video-on-demand and DVD should not be this high up on the list, but ATM does star Alice Eve, Brian Geraghty and Josh Peck, who aren’t exactly unknowns. My problem with it is that it’s just too unbelievably stupid and nonsensical, to the point where I actually started getting annoyed and wanted the protagonists to get killed for their lack of IQ. A slasher movie where everything is so predictable is never a good thing either.

1. New Year’s Eve (2011)

Michelle Pfeiffer and Zac Efron being forced to pretend there's chemistry between them
Michelle Pfeiffer and Zac Efron being forced to pretend there’s chemistry between them

The honour of the worst film of 2011 goes to New Year’s Eve, a new low in saccharine ensemble films where a bunch of stars are forced together on the screen because of some arbitrary common theme. How they managed to make a film with 20+ Hollywood A-listers that sucked so bad is beyond me. No one is given enough screen time to do anything meaningful and nearly all the characters/story arcs are unlikable or contrived or both. It was my only reviewed film of 2011 to be rated less than a 1 star (I actually gave it a 0.5), meaning the gap between this film and the my no. 2 film is wider than the gap between no. 2 and no. 9. The only positive thing I can say about it is that at least it wasn’t in 3D. Eek.

That was depressing. Next up, my 10 favourite films of 2011!

PS: It actually wasn’t such a bad year in terms of bad movies. A lot of average and below average stuff but not many made me want to pull my hair out.

10 Worst Films of 2010!

Now you’ve seen my top 10 films of 2010, it’s time to go through the worst.  And there were plenty.

As per the best films’ list, the movie must have been released in Australia at the cinema or on DVD in the year of 2010.  You can click on the movie title for my full review.

Here goes, in descending order.

(to see the list click on ‘more…’)

Continue reading 10 Worst Films of 2010!

Movie Review: Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

I think I’ve found my “worst film of 2010”.

This was unexpected for me, as I am a lover of horror films, especially supernatural ones.  I also like the idea of the “found footage” film, like The Blair Witch Project and I particularly liked The Last Exorcism this year.  I found the original Paranormal Activity to be less than inspiring — there were some good bits, but for the most part, the film was tedious and boring to me.  Too many pointless time-fillers between scares and the slow pace were not enough to make up for the spooky climax and horrific ending.

However, according to some accounts, Paranormal Activity 2 is better than the original.  With more experience, a proper script and a bigger budget, I was expecting an upgrade.

Talk about a letdown.  Paranormal Activity 2 is a prequel that basically recycles the idea of the first film — and throws crap all over it.  For those who haven’t seen the original, I won’t reveal too much, but essentially it’s about a haunting of a suburban house that escalates over time.  Last time it was a couple; this time it’s a family of four, plus a dog.

Like the original, nothing happens for most of the film, with a few extremely minor incidents trying to pass off as scares.  Even worse than the original is the fact that nothing notable happens until the final 15 minutes.  For the rest of the 91-minute running time, I was just waiting and waiting, hoping for something — anything.  It was like watching a very long episode of America’s boringest home videos.

The premise of the film made little sense to me.  In the first one, the couple decided to film everything because they thought the house may have been haunted.  In the sequel, the family decides to install surveillance cameras in just about every room of the house — and that’s where we get most of the footage — because of a burglary.  I’m sorry, but don’t people install security alarms to prevent burglars?  What is the point of putting on surveillance cameras all around the house — so you can see what has been stolen?  And correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve never seen home surveillance cameras that can also capture crystal clear sound.

More annoying is the hand held camera footage.  Sure, families sometimes like to film stuff, especially when there is a baby — but why would anyone film things like: having an emotional conversation with a sibling, having a casual phone conversation with a friend, or when doing research on a computer?  I understand we need to learn things in order for the plot to progress, but when the footage frequently stretches the credibility of the film, that’s a big problem.

Speaking of credibility, the performances were less than convincing.  When the best actor in the entire film is the family’s dog, you know you’re in trouble.  And I won’t even start with the stereotypical Latino maid that happens to know everything about demons, including exactly how to get rid of them.

In my opinion, the reason the first film was so successful was not just because it was a clever idea — it was because a lot of people wondered whether the footage was actually real, or at least thought it felt real, which made everything in it much scarier than it really was.  Obviously, with the exception of a few, most people know that Paranormal Activity 2 is totally made up, which is okay, as long as they upped the scares.  But if anything, Paranormal Activity 2 was less scary than the original.

The scariest thing about the whole thing?  Paramount Pictures have announced that they are releasing another one next year.

1 star out of 5 (For being able to tie in the original film.  And the dog.)