Why God, oh why do I keep watching the Twilight Saga? Nevertheless, I do, and I just did. I’m not a Twilight fan and I don’t really get the obsession with vampires and werewolves and the boys who play them, but I remain fascinated by this amazing global phenomenon.
Today I watched Breaking Dawn Part I, based on the first half of the final book in the saga. Breaking Dawn follows the footsteps of Harry Potter and the Death Hallows in that the final book of the series is unnecessarily split into two films in order to maximise the big fat dollars. Of course they would. The first three films in the Twilight series have made $1.8 billion worldwide, and the decision was proven correct by the fact that Breaking Dawn Part I has reeled in over $300 million in a week. (Hey, at least they didn’t make the movie 3D.) But what does that mean for the average moviegoer?
Well, for starters, a slower pace and a feeling that stuff is happening when nothing is really happening. Breaking Dawn Part I pretty much picks up where Eclipse concluded (as far as I can remember), with the long-awaited wedding between Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and her vampire loverboy Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson). Bella’s best friend, werewolf Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) is still in love with her, but he has basically accepted the fact that she will never be with him. It’s hard to go much further than the honeymoon without divulging crucial plot points, but most people who go and watch Breaking Dawn Part I would have read the book. Even if you haven’t (like me), it doesn’t take a genius to figure out where it’s heading. Besides, the trailers and previews essentially show everything, as usual.
I didn’t expect much from Breaking Dawn Part I, especially after hearing about the early lukewarm reviews, so I must say it was better than I thought it would be. Sure, it was slower than the other films in the series (which weren’t exactly blitzing to begin with), but I never found myself bored. As with the earlier films, the film was strewn with atrocious, cringeworthy dialogue that made me literally squirm in my seat. I doubt Meryl Streep and Robert De Niro could have pulled off those lines, so that didn’t leave much hope for the likes of R-Patz and Taylor “Abduction” Lautner (who only had a brief shirtless scene this time round). Plus you know with Part II looming, things are going to remain unresolved by the end of Part I, so there’s definitely an empty feeling when you walk out of the cinema.
Let’s face it. The real reason these Twilight movies are killing it at the box office is because readers fell in love with the books’ characters, and then the actors. And Breaking Dawn Part I’s biggest selling point is well advertised — you finally get to see R-Patz and Stewart “get it on”, so to speak. After all, the sexual tension is what has been driving the films all this time, so it was kind of a reward for the audiences who stuck with it until now.
Unfortunately, after sitting through basically six hours and three films worth of sexual tension, the pay off is disappointingly tame. There were rumours of perhaps a nipple but for the most part the honeymoon scenes are strictly PG-13 (which is the film’s US rating). Whatever. People who love the books, the characters and the actors will lap it up nonetheless. And they will unreservedly flock to Part II when it is released in November 2012. At the end of the day, Breaking Dawn Part I was made for the fans and will be enjoyed by the fans. For a non-fan with an interest in the series, the film was barely passable.
2.5 stars out of 5
PS: The scariest thing about Breaking Dawn Part I is that apparently it utilises two-thirds of the book, leaving only one-third for Part II.