Now you’ve seen my top 10 films of 2010, it’s time to go through the worst. And there were plenty.
As per the best films’ list, the movie must have been released in Australia at the cinema or on DVD in the year of 2010. You can click on the movie title for my full review.
Here goes, in descending order.
(to see the list click on ‘more…’)
This one made the list because of failed expectations really. I hadn’t seen the French film Paris, je t’aime, the style of which this film copied, but I had at least expected to see a feature film. But instead, this was a series a short films masquerading as a proper movie, tied together through contrived devices.
It would have been okay had all the short films been good, but they weren’t. Some were boring, uninteresting, muddled, or just plain horrible. Sure, there were a couple of good ones, but they were still short films incapable of telling full stories and relied on twist endings that got old after a while. In any case, because they all had different characters and directors and themes, when viewed as a whole, the film was very disjointed, uneven and dissatisfying. Even a star studded cast couldn’t save this mess. I couldn’t wait to get out of the cinema.
Poor Jackie Chan. He may have slowed down a bit from his heyday, but The Spy Next Door was an embarrassment to the legend’s legacy. Poor jokes, average action (below average by Jackie’s standards) and completely devoid of excitement or heart.
Even as a pure kids film, this was bad.
8. The Wolfman
I may have watched The Wolfman at the start of the year, but I certainly have not forgotten how much it disappointed me. Disinterested performances, laughable plot and a bland romance — even the special effects left a lot to be desired.
This disaster may have been more forgiveable if they had made it obvious that this was a campy, tongue-in-cheek homage to a classic — but honestly I’m not sure what the heck it wanted to be. The only thing I know is that it’s definitely not a good film. And Benicio Del Toro’s haircut is one of the worst I have ever seen.
7. Grown Ups
Grown Ups is this year’s Couple’s Retreat. Terrific premise, wonderful actors/comedians — inexplicably crap movie.
I’m not sure if it was the dismal attempt to make this a family-friendly film, but Grown Ups was not only unfunny (which could be forgiven) — it was bitterly obnoxious. Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Rob Schneider, Chris Rock and David Spade — all of these guys played mean spirited, annoying dicks who aren’t exactly kids’ role models for a supposed family film. And then ending — dear God — was borderline offensive, much like the rest of the film. Only the presence of the great Steve Buscemi prevented this from being higher on the list.
It may surprise some people, but Sex and the City 2 was actually better than I had anticipated — ie better than the worst movie of all time (as many have claimed it to be). That said, it’s still one of the worst films of the year.
Devoted fans of the series may be able to tolerate it, or maybe even like it a tiny bit because there some ‘light humour’, but ordinary humans ought not to be subject to this self-indulgent, cringeworthy excuse for product placement. The ending was not borderline offensive — it was offensive. And the fact that they seemed to have so much fun with it made it even worse.
5. Cairo Time
This was one award-winning film that I simply couldn’t stand. Unlike the folks at the Toronto Film Festival, I completely failed to see the ‘beauty’ of a film where a woman walks around Cairo for a couple of hours (it was 88 minutes, but felt like it) while almost having an affair with her good samaritan husband’s friend. Good cinematography and long, sweeping shots don’t make up for a film where absolutely nothing happens. Really. Nothing happens.
I thought the first one was overrated but this one I hated. It was as though they grabbed the template from the first film and refilmed it after spreading a thick layer of shit all over it.
A non-sensical premise where nothing happens, something happens, a door closes, something almost happens, the camera gets tossed around, can’t see anything, end of movie. And we were supposed to be engaged? Scared? More like bored out of my mind.
That said, it clearly works for some people because there’s another one coming.
Has Jennifer Aniston ever been in a good movie? Well, The Bounty Hunter is anything but (a good movie).
It is rare to see a film that thinks of itself as being so hilarious when it is probably the most unfunny movie of the year. In short, this is just two people being ridiculously irritating and obnoxious for what feels like a very long time. Was there even a plot? I can’t remember. Even the usually pretty good Gerard Butler was unbearable. I won’t say what I thought of Aniston.
I expected this one to be crap, but it exceeded my expectations and then some. Video game movies aren’t known for their plots, but Tekken had one of the worst of all time. As I think I said in my review, the script was like a geeky high school student’s project. The acting was not much better. The fight scenes were okay, but nothing we haven’t seen before.
I never thought classics such as Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat would be outdone, but the makers of Tekken have done something remarkable here. Well done.
This selection might come as a surprise for many, as Get Him to the Greek has been called 2010’s The Hangover, a movie that received rave reviews. But I genuinely loathed this film.
From a technical perspective, this Judd Apatow produced film may not have been bad, but I found this to be an incredibly distasteful, unfunny, filthy, downright unbearable film. As I said before, the character of Aldous Snow was my favourite from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but in this film I could not stand him. Brand and Hill (who is, I’m sorry, gross) gave good performances but I hated both their characters. It started off okay (largely thanks to Rose Byrne, who was a shining light), but Get Him to the Greek just got worse and worse, to the point where I was tempted to turn off the DVD (and that didn’t even happen for Tekken!). P Diddy or Puff Daddy or whatever he calls himself these days has been praised for his performance but I even found him to be irritating and too try-hard.
Actually, that’s how I found the entire film. It tried too hard. And failed more than any other film I watched this year.
PS: Dishonourable mentions: Cop Out, Jonah Hex, Greenberg, Piranha 3D.
PPS: Films I didn’t get to see but could have potentially made the list: Life as We Know It, Eat Pray Love, I’m Still Here, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Wog Boy 2: Kings of Mykonos.